Woof

Looks like someone gained a few too many pounds over the holidays... Murphy.

It's Monday

Haha. There's an "It's Monday" excuse as well. The "my brain is not functioning yet as I am still in weekend mode" excuse. Come to think of it, there's probably one for every day. We're Americans. Our country as a whole is pretty good with the excuses and shunning responsibility. I mean, America is awesome. Yeah

I spent most of the weekend listening to terrible pop music (all those post break-up type songs)while lying in my bed. Country works quite well too. Yes, I know, productive use of my time, but lately I have found myself in a bit of a funk over the boy and there's nothing like a bit of wallowing to get yourself over these things as quickly as possible. Some of the post-break up songs:

1. Anymore, Travis Tritt
2. Out of Reach, Gabrielle
3. Cry Me A River, Justin Timberlake
4. Don't Go Knockin On My Door, Britney Spears
5. Don't Turn Around, Ace of Base
6. Everybody Hurts, REM
7. Fighter, Christina Aguilera
8. Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares), Travis Tritt
9. Karma, Alicia Keys
10. Son of A Gun, Janet Jackson
11. She Hates Me, Puddle of Mudd
12. You Give Love A Bad Name, Bon Jovi
13. Gone, Kelly Clarkson
14. King of Wishful Thinking, Go West

Shut up, you know secretly you listen to these songs too.

It's Friday

I love how you can use the "It's Friday" excuse for pretty much anything that you screw up. As long as it's Friday of course, otherwise people think you're crazy. I think I've used it twice today already. For instance, someone can tell you one thing and you can stare at them blankly for 5 seconds before realizing what they want, and then use the excuse "Yeah, it's Friday." Brilliant.

Fuckity Fuck FUCK

People suck. I was sitting on the subway this morning on my way to work, next to a woman with a cup of coffee. I am already wary of these people because hot, liquid beverages on a moving car make me nervous. I have my reasons. She's mid-sip when this asshole (who apparently thinks that it is cool not to hold the pole - it's the subway, hello, moving car, HOLD the pole, duh) falls on top of her. Where does the coffee go, you ask? All over her, and then me. He quickly apologizes and moves to the other end of the car. That's right fucker, you better run, because I really want to kick your ass right now. First of all, he could have actually been sincere about his apology. Second, he could have at least offered to pay the cleaning bill for us, since my coat is dry clean only.

What's the next fun part about this story? My other winter coat (that I could have just thrown in the washer) has a broken zipper that doesn't zip. I am planning on returning it this weekend, but in the meantime, I have to wear this one with the big giant coffee stain on the front. It's pink and white so you can definitely tell that it is coffee on the front of it. So now I have to walk around with coffee on my coat until I can return the other one and purchase a new coat.

I hate my life. Or maybe New York just hates me. Take your pick.

The Female Mullet Exists...Even In NYC

I was having lunch today by myself, sitting in the corner of Au Bon Pain. I was listening to my headphones, because I find that this tends to keep the really crazy people away. Not today. Ever have one of those moments where a really fun song comes on and all you want to do is dance around while everyone stares at you? Sort of reminds me of that Moby video where Christopher Walken is running around. Anyway, this megamix of 6 Madonna songs that I recently downloaded started playing, and in my head, I pictured myself doing this exact same thing (the dancing). On the outside though, I had this serious, expressionless demeanor going on, like pretty much everyone else in New York. If they could only see my thoughts. I love Madonna circa 1985.

These thoughts were quickly interrupted by a woman with a mullet. I didn't think that was possible here in the city, but apparently I was WRONG. I am horrified at seeing one of these here, since I thought I had left them behind in Ohio. She then hits on me. Something I would like to quickly forget. I didn't realize I was the butch lesbian's type. And by butch I mean sweatpants with a mullet.

Public Service Announcement

Attention person who made office coffee this morning: DON'T ever make it again!!! That is the most disgusting swill I have ever tasted in my life. Who taught you how to make a pot of coffee? For the sake of all coffee drinkers in the office, stay away from the unbrewed coffee! Seriously, I'm not joking, because now I have no coffee to drink (since I had to pour my cup down the drain), can't wake up due to an insane coffee addiction, and must wait until 10:30 AM to get a new cup, when I am briefly relieved of my reception duties for a restroom break.

Social Experiment

I decided to engage in an experiment, because I get really bored at work, and I wanted something to do to occupy my time. I have recently been perusing the personals on Craigslist. I decided to make two different postings under women seeking men. The first one was pretty normal, what I'm looking for, blah blah blah, and I specified NO casual sex. I said I was only looking for somebody who might have the potential to become long term. The second one listed the same things, except I put that I was just looking for something casual and fun for the short term.

I have already received three responses for one of my personal ads and zero for the other. Wild guess which one. Yup, the casual one. This is once again proving my point that men suck.

The rants and raves are totally worth reading if you need something to occupy a few minutes. There are some very cynical, sarcastic people out there. Herro New York.

NICE

Event that made my morning:

I got up from my desk to make several copies of something when Hot Guy passed by on his way to his usual mid-morning bathroom break. Seeing as how the copier hates me, it takes me at least twenty minutes (ok, not that long) to do anything on it. Hot Guy comes out of the bathroom about three minutes later and I just finish making copies. I turn around to walk back to my desk when I see him, head turned around, checking out my ass! The best part is that he didn't even act embarassed or anything when I caught him. He just smiled, turned his head back around and went back into the office. Guess he approved of what he saw.

Smells Like Burnt Popcorn

Haha. I have a great story that happened this morning. My roommate and I were getting ready for the day. I walked out of the bathroom and smelled what I thought was burnt popcorn coming from the microwave. Odd choice for breakfast, I thought, but I have been known to eat some random things when I have the craving. But then I noticed the smoke coming out the back of the microwave. Something was burning. I ran over to the microwave and shut it off. At this point, out apartment was filled with smoke, so I opened the window and turned the fan on to try and push some of it out of the apartment. We're both coughing because the smoke is so thick. My roommate, in her half slumber, had put a bowl of instant oatmeal in the microwave, but minus the water. So now, my hair smells like burnt popcorn. Yay.

Does anyone else think that computer speak is just a dirty way to talk about sex? Yesterday I was looking at bigger hard drives (since my computer hates me and no matter how much deleting of crap I do, it still tells me that it is low on disk space) and I couldn't help but giggle when I noticed I was checking out bigger hard drives. Then, when I was talking to my dad about them, I was laughing in my head about our discussion. The bigger the better right? I'm so dirty.

Update

So I don't suppose any of you actually care about what has happened with Buttface lately, but I will tell you anyway. Friday night, on leaving a bar (and I was a little drunk, but when am I not at a bar and a little drunk?), I called him and went over to his apartment. He was more sober than I, which at first I thought would be a problem, so I kept telling myself not to sound like a drunk idiot and keep things under control. After looking retarded in front of the doorman, which tends to happen when I am drunk, because I can barely understand the night doorman when I am sober, I got in the elevator. I then decided if he thought I was wasted that might work to my advantage rather than pretending not to be. It's a lot easier to be drunk and pretend to be out of control. So now that understand the drunk theory.

I went into his apartment, we chatted for a bit, he asked me to stay over, I said ok, we messed around for a bit, but then I told him I was too drunk for that and just wanted to go to sleep. It happens (to me anyway). I have been so drunk that I have nearly passed out right in the middle. He seemed annoyed, which was what I was striving for. And then I passed out. Haha. Got out of doing the deed.

Stupid Cold

Brace yourself, I am going to complain again (I know, BIG surprise). As a result of this shit weather we are having, I woke up this morning to get ready for work to find out that my apartment building had no heat AND no hot water. Are you fucking kidding me? I can deal with not having one, but not both. I had to boil a pot of water on the stove to wash my face and I turned the oven on with the door open to make the temperature inside bearable. Remind me why I moved here again? I called my landlord and told him, but he sort of got bitchy with me. Hey, it's your building. Don't be a landlord if you don't want to deal with my shit. If both are not fixed by the time I come home from work, I am going to cry. I just want to take a shower, you know? So now, I'm sitting at the reception desk all gross and nasty, for the entire day. Awesome.

I am checking the weather for San Diego every five minutes. Only a month until I am sitting on a plane bound for warmer weather. I need a tan. Badly. I look like a ghost of my former self.

On another note, I think Hot French Guy is flirting with me. He always smiles at me everytime I see him and goes out of his way to say "Good morning" or "Good night". I notice that if I don't make eye contact with him, and am in the middle of typing something, he always turns around to look at me. So either he's like, "Hey, how you doin?" or my play it cool when he's around attitude isn't working. I'm willing to bed that it's the former. I am good at looking bored pretty much all the time, even when I see him and have not engaged in flirting behavior, so maybe he just thinks that I am really hot. Right. 'Cause people who can't shower in the morning because they have no hot water in their apartments are really hot.

So On Time Today

I got to work five minutes early. So there, crazy psycho assistant lady! I was here early and had the night message off at 8:27 AM. Suck it. I think a nap might be in order though later before heading out. Even though I was incredibly lame last night and went to bed at 10 PM, I'm not sure that I will be able to make it past even midnight. Damn this whole day job.

Just to let everyone know, this shop is closed, so go get your rocks off elsewhere. Usually it takes a little bit of tact to proposition me and then I might be intrigued (at least buy me a cocktail, you know?), but bluntness typically doesn't work unless you are in my good graces. Sending me a message at 12:15 AM saying, "You awake? Want to come over?" usually doesn't work in anyone's favor to get in those good graces. That typically only works in college when you live five minutes away. Unless you are Orlando Bloom. Orlando, the love of my life, this is good information to know.

Attention

This just in, according to an article in Marie Claire, in a 2004 global survey of how often people around the world have sex, the United States ranked 15 out of 41. Guess who topped the list? France. Yup. I knew there was a reason I speak French.

It's Raining Men

Must stop lusting after super sexy French man in office. Technically, I work here, and that's BAD. But...he's just so....

Then, to make matters worse, I open up this month's Marie Claire and they have a top ten list of men you'd most like to do certain things with, like see naked (David Beckham) or bring home to Mom (Matt Damon). Come on, world! What are you trying to do to me? Make me crazy so that this weekend, I go all out of control? Bad!

Bad Morning

It's already one of those days. I can tell. I woke up with a raging headache (for which I have no explanation) that will not go away despite the fact that I took 2 Advil two hours ago. As I walking the the subway station this morning, I thought it was Friday and got really excited. Only to my dismay though, do I realize that it is not Friday, and then I want to cry. Ok, not cry, but I was very dissappointed. You know when you really, really, really need something or else you fear you might lose your sanity? Yup.

So then the stupid trains were running late this morning. I left at 7:50 and got in 5 minutes late. Well, the CEO's crazy assistant was already out answering the phone this morning when I got here. Ok, lady, I was 5 fucking minutes late. No need to freak out. The world is not over. She totally gave me this look too. Whatever. It's not my fault. It should not take 45 minutes to get here.

The inauguration is today. Pardon me if I feel like vomiting when I think about the fact that not only did we elect the worst president ever, but we did it twice! Today only makes that official. Way to go, America. Enjoy your President who agrees with your "moral values". And by moral values I mean psycho-Christian-faith-based-nonsense that has no place in the leading of our country that is made up of so many other faiths than just Christianity. Since when is it right to limit our freedoms that we as Americans have come to know as our democratic rights? Sorry, I'll stop now, but I just get annoyed with the whole way things seem to be working out.

Why isn't it Friday yet?

Gosh!

See Napoleon Dynamiteif you haven't already. Great movie!

"I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."

"You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff."

"Pedro offers you his protection."

Questions of the Day

So here are some of the random questions that popped into my head. Feel free to comment if you know the answer.

Why are French men so damn HOT? (There are three in the office and...wow...tell me I wouldn't just grab them and pull them into the supplies closet.)

Why is old-school Madonna so fun to listen to at 8 in the morning? Seriously.

Honestly, what is so great about American Idol besides the fact that people willing humiliate themselves on national television? The rest is just bad.

Fun Quotes

Here's a little collection that I have started: I'll have to find someplace to put them permanently. Catch the theme?

"I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian." --Elaine from Seinfeld

"If men could menstruate ... clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event: Men would brag about how long and how much.... Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammed Ali’s Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields —”For Those Light Bachelor Days.” -- Gloria Steinem

"No man is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry." --Unknown

"My mother told me a way to a man's heart is through his stomach..........I think she was about six inches too high." -- Unknown

"If a man is standing alone in the woods and says something.....is he still wrong?" --Unknown

"Remember, only punish men that deserve it.
But don't they all deserve it?
Well, yes, I was getting to that." --Unknown

"Men say kissing is the language of love but then afterwords they end up having a conversation with your best friend." --Unknown

"Men aren't that complicated, they're kind of like houseplants." --Sam from SATC

Glory at 8 AM

This reminded me of "animal world" in the movie Mean Girls. Or at least it could have been.

The temperature was 18 degrees. My legs had managed to go numb from the sheer cold. I wasn't taking any chances though, on losing any extremities. I had a turtleneck sweater on, a scarf covering part of my face, gloves, my goosedown jacket, and two pairs of socks. I was tired as hell. Too much relaxing from the three day weekend. Need coffee badly. As I step onto the 6 train to head downtown for work, I survey the options. Stand next to the smelly, fat guy, or...wait, there's a seat open. I bolt for it. As I begin to move, I notice another woman eyeing the seat. She sees me going for it. Bitch, I haven't even had my coffee yet. That seat is mine! I can take her. She's like negative two feet tall and wearing high heels that even a cross dressing gay man would probably never wear. I manuever through bodies as quickly as possible. Haha, I reach the seat before her. In a brief moment of triumph, I take a moment to stand in front of the seat before sitting down, as if the act of sitting on the hard, plastic subway seat is the most comfortable thing in the world. I take out my newspaper and begin to examine the front page contents. Briefly, the woman glares at me, but then moves back to stand next to...the smelly guy. Triumph.

It's Like, You Know Part II

Once again, this conversation took place entirely over text messaging. Yes I realize this guy has no balls, but I was not about to call him either. This happened in the wee hours of Sunday morning. After receiving a raunchy and rather annoying text message, I decide to go with it. Get even, right?

B: Catch up later? (Now Erin has formulated a plan. She will go to see him as long as it isn't ridiculously late and blue ball him)

E: Sure. When?

B: Later, when we're both done.

-An hour goes by. The time is now 1:50 AM.

B: Where are you?

E: At a party in the East Village. (This is a total lie. Erin is really in Astoria, but the location is chosen for it's close proximity to his apartment.)

E: I'll prolly leave here in a half an hour.

B: Do you want to hang out later for a little play? I'm a little too drunk for any drama though.

-Erin is baffled. The nerve of this guy! He actually thinks that she would still be interested in him at this point. She continues to play along.

E: No I am tired and on my way home.

B: That sucks. I thought we were going to hang out. (Oh yeah, we'll "hang out" at 2:48 AM, buddy)

E: 3 AM is too late for me. Try me tomorrow.

B: I thought you were coming over after your friend's. I was hoping to catch up. (Apparently this is the new term for "I just want you to come over here and fuck me and then leave")

B: Home? (4:05 AM)

-At this point, Erin has had two-thirds of a bottle of wine and has passed out in her bed with her phone on the pillow and still listening to her mp3 player. She misses the last two text messages. Whoops.

Loser. I suppose that worked out better than trying to blue ball him anyway. The thought of having him touch me makes my skin crawl. It's not really worth it.

It's Like, You Know...

**Composed entirely of text messages. The roommate and Erin are sitting in the same room. Buttface is elsewhere.**

Erin: You know what, I have to say what you did was really shitty. No wonder she won't talk to you. I don't really want to talk to you anymore either.

Buttface: What are you talking about? We just hung out and I gave her an innocent kiss thanking her for the present she gave me.

-Scornful laughter erupts from the roommate and Erin.

Buttface to Roommate: What is going on? Erin just sent this to me: (copy of E's text message)

-The roommate reads his message out loud. E asks R for the exact wording of what Buttface said to her.

Me: "I'm being patient and waiting for you to dump your boyfriend." We're fucking roommates. You don't see anything wrong with that?

Buttface: That was a total joke! Did she think I was serious?

-Again, laughter. He admits saying it! Clearly he's trying to cover his ass.

M: I think you're full of shit.

B: Wow! Too much drama. (What kind of lame answer is this?)

-Brief pause as E considers how to respond.

M: Well, it's drama you created but shouldn't have in the first place.

-B sends R another copy of E's message. E waits to see if she get's another message in response.

B: After a bottle of wine, you say things that can throw you in trouble.

-Disgusted, E closes her phone and heads to bed, expecting not to hear from him again.

Argh

First off, let me apologize for what a horrible soap opera my blog has become. I''m sure it's annoying to read all of my whining, but then again, it's my blog, so "I do what I want!" What a crappy week it's been and it was an even crappier morning. I was an hour late to work due to all the rain we had this morning. I got to the subway station at 8:00 and figured it might be running a little behind, but I didn't expect to wait 45 minutes for the first train to come by. When it does, it's clearly too full to squeeze into, but people continue to do so anyway. I finally get onto the third train, but don't worry, I only arrived at work an hour late. The stupid Queensborough Bridge Tunnel was flooded so the trains couldn't run. I think fate hates me. First there was Buttface, then yesterday having to walk to work farther than expected, and then today. I hope the weekend is a little better.

So on the subject of Buttface, I decided to call him out on his poor behavior last night. I had enough beer to make this seem like a good idea when I probably should have just kept my mouth shut. I now realize that he has no balls. And I really, really liked him too. Pity he turned out to be a first-rate asshole. The only reason I am writing about this is because I am still in shock of how fucked up he is. I feel like this gives me validation or at least some sort of closure. He basically blamed it all on the amount of alcohol he drank. Now, that excuse only works when you're twenty, not twenty-nine. Besides, anything you do while intoxicated is nothing you wouldn't do sober. Generally, most people know better and that's why we only do the stupid things when we're drunk. You still think it when you're sober though. Like me: I drank enough beer to say what I had been thinking since Tuesday. But I'm not gonna say that the beer made me do it. It just helped facilitate. Should be interesting to see if he tries to talk to either me or my roommate again.

In the meantime, I have sworn off men for a while. Not indefinitely or anything. Just long enough to let my jaded attitude wear off. No sense in being an angry bitch all the time.

Update On Evil Trains

Apparently, shortly after I decided to walk to work, the entire green line of the subway shut down, express trains and all. Someone up in Harlem decided it would be cool to jump in front of the subway. Why can't these jumpers just wait until rush hour is over? Is that extra two hours really going to make that big of a difference if you're going to kill yourself anyway? Just be considerate and let people get to work. I mean, I know that sounds cruel and all, but it makes for a bitch of a time when people rely on the subway as their only mode of transportation and it isn't running all of a sudden. Hopefully, they got things under control so that by lunch time the 6 is running again, because I don't really feel like walking to drop off my timecard at the agency I am temping for.

Trains Are Evil

I usually give myself a couple extra minutes to get to work in the morning just in case there is a delay with the subway or any unpredictable problem occurs. You just never know in a big city. I got into the city from Queens no problem, but it's that second train that seems to always cause problems. I am waiting for the 6 train (which I only have to take 9 blocks, or one stop), and I am waiting for about fifteen minutes. Rather annoyed, I have to be at work in fifteen minutes, which is no problem if the train would actually come since it takes just a minute to get to the next stop. But, noooooo, it doesn't come and we're all standing there looking really confused. At this point, I am annoyed, because I know that I will have to walk very, very quickly in order to make it on time, and people get huffy if I am late. It's like the phone calls commence exactly at 8:30 AM and if you're not there to answer the phone, their world collapses. I book it from 59th St to 50th St, where my building is located. I hoped that I would be incredibly lucky and a downtown bus would pull up just as I was walking by, but no such luck. I arrive at work all sweaty and out of breath from my brisk walk. Whatever make-up that I had put on this morning has now been sweated off. And if I wasn't awake before, I certainly am now.

I got another message from Buttface last night after I was already asleep. After no response to the first one, he decided to try again I guess. It said, "Hey Erin, See you out tonight?" This was at 12:30 AM. On a weeknight. Whae does he think I am? Some sort of alcoholic, partying until the break of dawn slut? Like I would just drop whatever I was doing to call him, come over intoxicated and screw his brains out. Unless he was referring to tonight, since technically it was already Thursday when he called, but I highly doubt that. His brain doesn't function on that level. The more I think about it, the more he continues to creep me out. I just can't think that he's a nice guy anymore after what happened. All of those times that I thought he was being genuinely nice to me, he had some other agenda going on. Bastard. Everything was a lie. I feel so incredibly used. Let's see how long it takes me to get over this to the point that I'll actually want to talk to men again. I saw this couple on the subway yesterday on my way home and they were holding each other and kissing and all I could think to myself is, "Yeah, you think that he's the most wonderful guy on the planet, but then you find out later that he is dating another girl or screwing around on you, and then he's not so wonderful. You'll just wind up really hurt and angry."

I wasn't even emotionally attached to this guy and I still feel used and abused.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills

Sometimes I wonder about the state of my mental health. Most of the time I am a fairly normal person, but then there are those few times when I don't think I should be left to my own devices. Like, last night, for example. Buttface sent me a text message along the lines of "Hey, got back. What are you up to this week?" Really, you're back? Hadn't realized that at all when you tried to make a pass at my roommate! Rather than just telling him off and moving on, I instead have decided to play with his mind. Is this healthy? Absolutely not. But I am bored and this will be my way of getting even and teaching him that no matter how much money he has, women will always have the power. They will continue to use it to their advantage until they get what they want (in my case, all I was looking for was basic respect and honesty).

I am a sick and twisted person, but at this point, I don't care.

Kiss Of Death

I just received the kiss of death secondhand, through my roommates words, about Buttface (new name of previously said boy). "She's a great girl and really fun to hang out with." Ouch, that hurts more than if he were to say, "I think she's ugly and stupid." And no, boys from the Midwest aren't any better than East Coast ones, even if they have lived here for ten years. Let's just say that after finding out that he made an advance toward my roommate, we have gone our separate ways. I haven't told him that yet, but I don't think that will be necessary after what he did. My only gripe is that he had to string me along for that long. Why couldn't he just tell me he was into her and not me? Or does he think that he's allowed to date two roommates at the same time? Like she wouldn't have told me. Asshole. And you wonder how girls become jaded - it's men like this that ruin us for all the other ones.

The best part would have been getting to fuck with him and get even about how he treated both of us, because I am really, really, really, really good at that. However, my roommate has a boyfriend, so it's not an option. Too bad because that would have made me feel better.

So Angry Right Now

So I am not an angry person by nature, but there are certain circumstances that turn me into a raving madwoman. I think I have pretty easy expectations for people, but apparently those can be rather trying for people in my mind to live up to. Like all of men. Don't tell me not to become jaded either, because there's one guy out there who will change everything, blah blah blah. I don't want to here it when I routinely date passive assholes. They're not outright dicks, but they passively act like ones. I'm NEVER dating again!!!! Yesterday for instance (I will not name names, but I bet you can probably guess who I am referring to), a certain person is back from vacation and failed to tell me. How long he has been back? Well, I don't know, he didn't call me to tell me this, I only find this out because he hung out with my roommate last night. Bastard. I'm not upset with her or anything, because they are friends too, but I am angry at him. It wasn't like we were sleeping together or anything (cough, cough). He could have at least called to chat for five minutes, honestly. So now, he will know what it feels like to be left out of the loop. I'll leave him wondering for several days where the hell I am since he is so good at doing that to me. Is this a healthy approach to the problem? Of course not, but when life plays you, play harder. I called a friend last night to see if I felt justified in my anger. I told her, "If this is lame, and I'm just being an emotional girl, with no cause for concern, please tell me, but if you think it's a legit problem and I have a right to be upset, also tell me." She also thought that I had a right to be upset, and I value the fact that she is a very rational person. So I'm not unjustified in my reaction.

Normally I am not this scary (ok, maybe I am), but people do stupid things that in turn cause me to want to go crazy. By the way, is it Friday yet? I woke up this morning and got excited because I thought it was almost the weekend, but then I was sad, because I realized it wasn't. I then understood that it was only Tuesday, and I have to go to a job that annoys the crap out of me, is insanely boring, and does not challenge my intellect. Woo. Remind me that next time a receptionist is wanted for more than three days, DON'T DO IT. I feel like my degree in economics is slowly decaying as all of that useful information I spent four years learning is now slowly disappearing from my brain. Sucks.

Anyway, I am angry and now I must pretend like I'm happy since I have to smile and say "Good morning" to everyone like a fucking idiot even though all I want to do is say,"Screw you guys, I'm going back to bed." How has my life come to this?

Power Couple No More

Hahahaha! Brad and Jen are no longer the Hollywood power couple! Stupid perfect looking people - at least their relationships aren't perfect.

Testosterone = Manly Men

Why is it that men always have to act so tough and manly all the time? In the mornings when everyone is coming in to work, the women always smile and say "Good morning" or they say "Hi, how are you?" They're not always nice, but at least they act like people. The men however, typically just grunt and nod their heads as if they are physically incapable of speaking before 9 AM. And then, the men's restroom is next to the reception area, so they all have to walk in front of me to get there. I always thought women were bad about going to the restroom and chatting, but men are just as bad. I can't believe they even have the balls to make fun of us for our behavior. It's like an old boys club when they go in there. Each man goes in, but like four or five come out together chatting about one sport or another, or some "big" project that is going down. It's so ridiculous. It's like they each have to prove that his certain "parts" are the biggest.

So why exactly do women try so hard to impress these creatures?

Chicago

G Phi B's Taking Over Navy Pier 

New Year's Eve: Only the beginning... 

Lunch....MMMMMMM

Ok, so just by doing a quick calculation to show how friggin expensive eating out is (and since I have no money, I cannot afford to do that like everyone else in this city), I will prove that people are lazy. So many people in Manhattan eat out for lunch. I just can't believe it. I felt like I was in middle school again when I packed my lunch last night. I made a turkey sandwich with cheese (burnt crust cut off of course), two nutri-grain bars, and an apple. Surprisingly, this is unbelievably healthy for me. Anyway. Imagine that it's on average $5, depending on where you go and what you get. That's $25 for the week. Or $100 a month. This is a low estimate, at least in my opinion. They'd rather spend that extra money than pack a lunch. No wonder New York has showed up on the list of fattest cities. I don't think even if I was permanently employed, that I would spend that much for lunch anyway. I'd still be on a budget. I have credit cards to pay off buddy. Plus I spend about $30 a week on groceries. I'd rather take that extra cash and spend it on booze. Yep, I said booze.

And I know that you all are so happy that I had that little math lesson today. Sigh, it kept me occupied for about five minutes anyway. Only two and a half more hours to go. Sweet.

Back In The Big Apple

Yay, I am finally back from all of my traveling adventures! New Year's Eve in Chicago - done. Losing my face at U of Illinois - done. I had another plane trip that sucked, although it was really nobody's fault, since it snowed a ton in Chicago. My plane didn't leave Chicago Wednesday night until about two hours later than scheduled, so I got in to Atlanta about the time I was supposed to be arriving in New York. I missed my connection and the next available flight was at 8 in the morning. So I had to spend the night in a hotel (well, more like 6 hours really). I arrived yesterday morning and as a result, was totally cracked out for the rest of the day. I HATE traveling. Gosh! (That's for all you Napoleon Dynamite fans, I can't stop saying it) I did spend a totally unproductive 4 hours watching Return of the King, the extended version. It was awesome.

So now I am working again, this time for a month. This is good timing, because I really need money. It's not a lot, but better than nothing. I'm at the same place I was at after Thanksgiving. That's good right? They requested me again. I am still bored out of my mind though. Whatever.

When I get home later tonight, I will put some fun pictures up from my trip. But don't worry, I will probably post several more times for lack of anything better to do.