It's Like, You Know Part II

Once again, this conversation took place entirely over text messaging. Yes I realize this guy has no balls, but I was not about to call him either. This happened in the wee hours of Sunday morning. After receiving a raunchy and rather annoying text message, I decide to go with it. Get even, right?

B: Catch up later? (Now Erin has formulated a plan. She will go to see him as long as it isn't ridiculously late and blue ball him)

E: Sure. When?

B: Later, when we're both done.

-An hour goes by. The time is now 1:50 AM.

B: Where are you?

E: At a party in the East Village. (This is a total lie. Erin is really in Astoria, but the location is chosen for it's close proximity to his apartment.)

E: I'll prolly leave here in a half an hour.

B: Do you want to hang out later for a little play? I'm a little too drunk for any drama though.

-Erin is baffled. The nerve of this guy! He actually thinks that she would still be interested in him at this point. She continues to play along.

E: No I am tired and on my way home.

B: That sucks. I thought we were going to hang out. (Oh yeah, we'll "hang out" at 2:48 AM, buddy)

E: 3 AM is too late for me. Try me tomorrow.

B: I thought you were coming over after your friend's. I was hoping to catch up. (Apparently this is the new term for "I just want you to come over here and fuck me and then leave")

B: Home? (4:05 AM)

-At this point, Erin has had two-thirds of a bottle of wine and has passed out in her bed with her phone on the pillow and still listening to her mp3 player. She misses the last two text messages. Whoops.

Loser. I suppose that worked out better than trying to blue ball him anyway. The thought of having him touch me makes my skin crawl. It's not really worth it.