Verizon sucks balls. I can't change my number unless I get a new cell phone plan. It didnt even help when I told the guy I had a stalker. He didnt think it was very amusing. Neither do I, which is why I wanted to change my number in the first place. It will happen soon anyway, because I want a local number.

I went to a costume party last night. This is not the point of my story however. I wore new shoes that I bought yesterday. They are really cute, but they ripped my feet up. Note to self: NEVER wear new shoes while walking around Manhattan (apparently I didnt learn this very well last time it happened in May when I bought the devil sandals). I spent way too much money on taxis last night because I couldnt stand walking even half a block. Nobody wanted to share a taxi either. Cheap people.

I think I officially got stood up tonight for my dinner date. I'm sort of irritated because I find that one of the rudest things a person can do. If you don't want to go, just tell me. So I am now going to make new plans for the night and if he calls to see if I still want to do dinner, I can blow him off. Jerk. I mean, it is New York and people eat really late here, but still. You always make your plans ahead of time so she can pick an outfit and get ready and such. Especially when it takes me a half an hour to get into the city. I cant teleport or get ready in five seconds either. Don't men understand this? Guess not.

Okay, so I have two things to say. First, I am in love with Ryan Cabrera. His music is hot sex and so is he. I don't even care that he was dating Ashlee Simpson. We're both over that and he's going to marry me.

Second, I am changing my cell phone number tomorrow. I want to get a local number anyway, but I have had enough annoying messages from this one guy who keeps calling. You would think that my NOT returning his phone calls for a month would ring loud and clear. I guess I just rocked his world and he keeps trying to come back for more. Hehe. No way are we going there again. Regardless, be on the lookout for an email or something with my new number.

I cried tonight when I was watching Sex and the City. I ordered HBO on Demand so I started watching part 2 of Season 6. Ever since Erin said she can't watch it without getting sad, it's ruined it for me! It was the episode where Sam is going through chemo and Carrie gets in a fight with the Russian about his insensitivity. She tells him that Sam is her life and she doesnt know what she would do without her. She says, "Samantha is my friend. She's my life. My insides. She will be fine because she has to be fine. That's how important she is to me." And then I started crying. Thanks Erin.

Homecoming. Certainly different than what I was expecting. I think I was a little disappointed but maybe I went with too high of expectations. It was great, don't get me wrong, I was happy to see the people I wanted to, but there were some people that I could have done without. I just wanted to be like, "You were a little bitch 5 months ago, and whoops, you still are!" I guess some people don't change.

Friday was a bar night. After seeing most of the G Phi B girls at Janna's, we went to McMurrays. We figured it would be really crowded so we went to get a table. On the contrary, nobody was there. After a little while, I couldnt take it anymore. Still the same gross bar that I spent so much of my college life at. After that, Erin and I hopped over to Station where it was insanely packed. I was so tired from getting up so early and there were just too many people that we left and went to Taco Bell. I havent had that since Lizzle's wedding in June. I was going to eat it and head back to Mc's to join everyone else. Well, lets just say that I ate and then passed out on the living room floor. Oh well.

Saturday was spent being lazy and then it started off early. Erin and I went over to Rill's and met a few of the class of 2000 Phi Psi's. We then proceeded to kick Charlie's ass at beer pong three rounds in a row, earning us a crushing defeat and bragging rights for an entire year. Awesome. Then we stopped by the Phi Psi party for a bit where I proceeded to get more intoxicated. After that we went to Station for awhile I think. I got pretty drunk early which was unfortunate. The most action I saw on the trip was when Erin and I spooned in a twin bed for part of the night, before I started feeling sick. Her sister wasnt at the Chi-O house so she stayed where I was. Weird night, I know, but good.

I am definitely glad to be back here. Ohio is lame.

Does anybody else notice that sometimes I type in Franglais? I have definitely forgotten how to spell the word apartment properly and usually type apartement. Or I'll put on e on the end of words that don't normally have an e on them. It's gotten to the point where I speak in it sometimes. I'll replace a word or two in a sentence and people look at me like I'm crazy. I then realize that they don't get it. C'est vrai.

So this might be too much information, but going on the theme of love-hate relationships, I have found another one. Waxing. While it is nice to not have to shave for two months, the amount of pain endured makes it worth hating. You can only rip the hair off most of your legs before I just cant pull that strip of paper off anymore. Ok, so that was weird and I'm sure everyone is like, "That girl is weird," but that's nothing new for me. I really am a bit odd. Other love-hate relationships:

Reality television
High heels
Medium spicy buffalo wings
Pop music a la chick music
Nintendo Gamecube
Thongs/Bras
Chocolate
Soap Operas
Gwen Stefani's new single
Tequila
Small dogs
Winter (snow)
Men

Public transportation and I have a love-hate relationship. I enjoy not driving or having to worry about parking, but sometimes the hassle of schedules and weird people cause me to not like it. First of all, I had to leave the apartment at 6:30 on Friday morning to catch a 9 AM flight. Then, I waited 15 minutes for the train. I was about to start walking when it came. I went one stop and then caught the bus to LaGuardia from there. This time, I had to wait 20 minutes for the bus. When it came, it was a lot of people getting off the night shift. Let's just say that I have not been that close to someone at 7 AM that I was not intimate with. As a person who values my personal space, this was really irritating. Then, I miss the Delta terminal stop at the airport and have to walk back to it from the next terminal over. The good news is I only paid $4 rather than $20 for a cab. The commute back from the airport was less crowded but still annoying because at night less traines and buses run. Good thing it was only $4 because I did spend quite a bit on food this weekend. Not even alcohol, just food. Alcohol was so cheap in Ohio, it was fabulous.

Okay - not real life but inspired by it. Don't laugh at the bad grammar or anything, it's what they like to call rough. Hehe. I started writing it at work. Not sure if I will finish it.

Emily bit down hard on the plastic tip of the Bic pen she was holding. Her gaze was fixed straight ahead and downward, her forehead wrinkled in extreme concentration. Or irritation. It really looked like either. Mostly she was looking at the worn spots in the carpet from where people always walked. It was almost like she could see actual footprints there. Every so often, she took brief glances at the clock on her desk. The second hand seemed to move slower and slower every time she looked, as if it stopped ticking altogether before moving again.

Emily had done her best to entertain herself, but there's only so much computer Solitaire you can take before your eyes start to glaze over. "Only thirty more minutes," she thought. "Then I can get the hell outta here." For a brief moment Emily remembered the Drew Carey quote about hating your job and having a support group called the bar. She smiled because she never realized just how true that was until now.

With eager anticipation, she thought about the baseball game scheduled for tonight. It was the final game of the American League Championship Series between Boston and New York. The Red Sox had come from behind to tie the series and the outcome of tonight's game decided which team went on to the World Series. Even though Emily lived in New York City, she wasn't a Yankees fan, much to the surprise of many people she met. She hoped to witness the Red Sox deliver a crushing defeat to the Yanks.

I started working today. Some people are just bitches. First off, the analysts and the office admins are nice to me. They actually introduced themselves and asked what my name was. But the traders need to remove the sticks from their asses. I guess it comes with the territory though. Those guys naturally have egos the size of Suburbans. They've been really rude to me, so rude that I want to ask them if they would like another cup of coffee, go get it, but before I hand it back, spit in it. I'm not an evil vindictive person normally, but seriously. How hard is it to pretend to be nice to someone?

On the good side, everyone in the office gets lunch every day, so I got to choose lunch from four different places that the company has accounts with. Nice. These are good lunches too, not just pizza from around the corner. I do enjoy the corporate lifestyle, as much as I may bitch about it in the meantime. It has it's perks. If you are stuck working late, you get a car to drive you home most of the time. I don't, but if you're one of the important people you do.

Oh yeah, everybody should watch Oprah on Friday. The cast of the new Bridget Jones' movie is being interviewed. Mmmmm, Colin Firth. Mr. Darcy....

Alright, I suppose it is time for me to get back to my pathetic existence before people start to notice that I'm not really working. It's one of those things where I can't wait to go home so I keep staring at the clock wishing that it said 6. Oh well. I'll just come up with some insane plan for this weekend. I do plan on being a champion and people better be ready to take it to the face. That's right Charlie, I said take it to the face. Beer pong style.

So I got another Tier Four phone call tonight a few minutes ago. "Just wanted to see what you were doing tonight...", well not you buddy since I know that's what you were planning on. Geez, I am in no mood to deal with that crap. You would think that after dodging the phone enough times and saying I already have plans would give him a big hint. Either he should call in advance a few days or quit calling. Grrrrr.

Anyway, I feel like the shit for several reasons right now. Numero Un, I start temping tomorrow. It's a start and hopefully I will meet cool people while I am there. I am a working woman. Woohoo! Numero Deux, I met someone very cool and he's really smart (very attractive too so that helps). Numero Trois, I have a sweet apartment. We finally started putting pictures on the walls so it looks like we actually live here. I'll have to have a party soon. Break it in with style. Numero Quatre, I live in New York City. That should have been number one, but you know. It's the best city in the world and who wouldnt be happy here?

So we can all completely disregard my latest post. So I don't know about not dating for awhile, I have too much fun doing it, but I am so tired of the rules and games that men live by when they are also single and dating. I don't have the energy to put up with it. It's exhausting enough trying to get a job, who needs that extra crap to deal with?

If anyone watched Oprah today, I had the realization that I was a Tier Four girl on someone's list. Needless to say, I havent seen him in about a month so it's safe to say that I won't be seeing him any time soon. Way irritating to have to go through the bad ones to find a good one.

Okay, so I was going to edit this last post and make it sound somewhat less alcohol induced, but I thought everyone might enjoy reading it as is. The perspective of an intoxicated person...

First off, I want to say that I will spell check this tomorow because I probably sounds like an ass right now. How is it possible to hate men and love them at the same time? Perhaps because Friday night was fantastic and you had a fabulous time with a wonderful guy, but Satruday sucked because y0u felt like the 7th wheel. Is it possible to feel ike the 7th wheel? Oh yes friends. It is. The two guys that I flirted with both went home with other girls and all because I have already become tainted material for them. Stupid guys and their rules. If things don't work with Friday night guy, then I am totally going on dating hiatus and not seeing anyone. Anyone. I am so tired of being dragged around by these stupid guys. And you thought dating was hard in a normal city. Try New York.

It's cold in my room. Maybe I should shut my windows so I don't sound like an 80 year old chain smoker when I wake up tomorrow. Or perhaps that is just too much effort right now. I can't sleep (again). I think part of the reason is because I get in bed and then think about all the things I need to get done in the next day or two and then my mind starts racing. It's amazing how 10 things that can easily be accomplished turn into a nightmare. Mostly because people are idiots and when you try to talk to them on the phone, it's like they speak a different language than you. I hate doing anything that requires talking to a customer service rep whether that is the cable company, the utility company, or any other I must use a phone to talk to another human being company. List of shit to accomplish tomorrow:

1. Call Rakesh about resume and fix it to send back to him.
2. Call headhunter to check in and see if any temp positions are available.
3. Scour job boards for open positions.
4. Sit around and wait for my Victoria's Secret package. (cool, guys: come between the hours of 10:30 AM and 5:30 PM on. That's what the we missed you today slip said. Of course I will be here!)
5. Call back the guy who likes to call me that night suggesting we hang out right then. I know what that means buddy and we're not doing that again. I think he needs to be trained a bit better to make plans with a girl a couple days in advance. We like a little planning.
6. Answer more practice interview questions.
7. Go to the drugstore and find a new styling product for my hair (it's a difficult choice to find something that works on my hair. Nothing I have is working, and believe me, I have a ton of products).

Now that I wrote those down, maybe I can actually go to sleep. I hope.

Does anyone else think Bush sounded like a 12 year old? "Nuh-uh, nuh-uh, you did this so you're wrong!". Good strategy, dickhead. Remember: the only bush I trust is my own. I also think Kerry had a clear head on his shoulders. He appealed to black voters, and especially women. His views on abortion were solid. I was with him 100%. He then discussed gay rights. In my personal opinion, I would like to see more liberal views on just about everything involving gay and lesbian rights, but I know that it wouldn't fly in this election. I just hope that people want change enough in this country to elect Kerry.

How cool was it that Michael J Fox was there?

So the last debate is tonight. My prediction: Bush will get spanked. Typically the sexist, Jesus loving holier-than-thou-I-will-tell-you-how-to-live-your-life attitude isn't appreciated by Americans, but we will see. With under an hour until go time, I'm gonna go make some popcorn and prep myself for some wholesome fun....

I will be back to make some comments later.

Sometimes I am reminded of the bitter irony that is life. I found out from someone Friday that had I given him my resume a month ago, I would be working at JP Morgan right now. JP Morgan. My dream company. How sweet would that have been? Living in the best city in the world and working for an awesome company. That's way better than Ohio. WAY better (sorry everyone). I could be one of those people who can actually brag about how great my life is and actually mean it. People will know that too. I won't have to make stuff up about how I have a great job when really it's crap. He told me I still have a shot, it will just be a bit more difficult.

I have also realized in the past week since I have been having interviews lately that this world is a bitch. Nothing happens out of luck. It will play you if you don't push back.

I have such a positive view of this world, don't I?

So this is totally random, but I love when stuff like this happens. My roommate and I were shopping in H & M probably a month ago and heard the song "Look at Us Now" by Sarina Paris. Both of us laughed and did stupid dance moves cuz the song is disgustingly happy. Neither one of us could remember what it was called or who it was by though. That sort of thing drives me insane since I can name almost any song I hear on the radio. I am a music name genius. Tonight I couldnt fall asleep so I was browsing through the ringtones on my phone when I came across it and played it (not knowing it was the song). I jumped out of bed and yelled, "That's it!" and ran to my computer to promptly and illegally download it. So now I know the song title.

And I'm sure that you really care. Oh yeah, then I found five dollars...

I watched the Senior Slide show last night. It almost made me cry. I got a little teary.

Rugby is my new favorite sport to watch. Not women though - they scare me. I enjoy watching men - sort of the way Homer Simpson makes that noise when he wants a doughnut. Yeah, it's that good.

My roommate and I went to go see the Columbia undergrad men's rugby team today. Well, I thought the game was today but I am dumb, since the game was actually tomorrow. We had to take the 6 train up to Spanish Harlem and then catch the bus to Randall's Island. It is a very scary trip. I definitely would not be comfortable doing that at night ever. This scary guy tried to talk to us but we ran away and hurried onto the bus. Once we got there, there was rugby though so we stayed and watched. We were a bit confused because the players looked a bit old to be in college, but we still stayed. During the game, we notice that one team is all foreign. Odd, but alright. Sayaka leans over and says, "I think the one team is gay." I hadn't really noticed but then we see quite a few guy spectators. Some of them start making out. That pretty much answered my question. These were big guys too. So I came home and looked up the team on the internet to confirm our suspicions. They are part of a movement for non-discriminatory sports teams in the New York area, and the other all foreign team was exactly that. They were "ethnic" as the website stated. There was this one Irish guy. Mmmmm. We all know I like Irish boys. Rugby players are just hot. Some are scary and not attractive, but I'd say about 50%. Those are good odds. As far as today, not all the guys were gay, but most of them were. Sort of takes the fun out of it when you know they don't swing your way.

So anyway, I can now say that I have seen a gay men's rugby team play. New York never ceases to amaze me in new ways. These guys arent your stereotypical gay guys either. They are large and tough, as every rugby player needs to be so as not to get the shit kicked out of him.

Happy Birthday Pledge!

These might seem a little duh factored, but you'd be surprised what I found out after reading this book how women act in relationships. I find myself doing some of the same and making the same excuses, but these eliminate some of that. Dating suggestions from he's just not that into you:

I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.

I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.

I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.

I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable.

I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable. (well this one would take a lot since we all know me)

I will not be with a man who's afraid to talk about our future.

I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who as already rejected me.

I will not date a man who is married.

I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.

Dick Cheney is an ass.

You know what's frustrating? When you call your parents and get lectured on not having a job. "Well, we are running out of time here kid." Wtf? You think it's easy to find a job with no internship experience? Honestly Dad. I'm doing what I can from here, but I can't exert mind control over these people to hire me right away. I guess I should start looking at other things to do to earn money in the meantime. I don't have any retail experience, waitress experience. Basically I can take care of kids and be an office bitch. I am not about to be a nanny either in the meantime. Hell no. It's only been five months which I get depressed about, but it takes the average college graduate six months to get a job. That means I still have another month. That at least got me a little rejuvenated. I will get a job. I will. There is no failure option on this one. Guess I just need to pick up the phone and start making those damn phone calls again.

I started reading this book by Sherry Argov. I recommend that every woman read it. Sort of gives you insight into how women and men interact in relationships. It's called Why Men Love Bitches.

Read it.

My brother got me a wife beater that says "The only bush I trust is my own". Haha. I think the best part about it is that it is a wife beater. Take that Republicans! It's like the one that I saw in Noho and didnt buy because it was really expensive. I am going to wear it a lot before the weather cools down too much. People need to see it.

I made a mix cd last night when I couldnt sleep. I put a bunch of my favorite rock bands on it so I could listen to it while I go running. I was playing it earlier when I was dying my hair and when every song would come on I'd say, "I LOVE this song!" Well, duh. I made the mix. Of course I would like all the songs. It reminds me of Baxla's Incubus mix that we listened to after Lollapalooza. We kept saying that after every song on the mix. Yeah, we're cool. We went and saw the band in concert so naturally we would like all the songs. Sometimes I wonder about myself.

I'm 22. Big fat woo hoo. Instead of being excited, it just makes me more depressed. It points out the fact that I am 22 years old and have now been unemployed for 5 months (minus the brief time at Vector). I have a friggin college degree! No matter how positive I try to be about things, I can't help but want to cry about it sometimes. I know it's not my fault that I can't find a job (it's not for lack of trying), it's just not a good economy right now. I am looking for anything at this point that is even remotely related to business. Marketing, PR, HR, market research, you name it. So that's basically what's been going on with me. Cool huh?

I started looking at grad school programs as a just in case factor for next fall. I am good at French so I started looking at French language programs at Columbia and NYU. They are good, competitive schools so I probably wouldnt even get in, but it's nice to dream right? I've got to do something in the meantime, so maybe I can become someone's personal bitch, I mean, assistant. I just feel tired from all of this. People ask me how the job thing is going and all I can think is, "Why do you ask me? Of course its the same as it has been. If I had anything exciting to tell you, I would. You can bet your ass on that one."

I blame the government on this one. They are too busy playing bully to other countries to remember to help the little people of this country. Forget fiscal and monetary policy - let's blow up Iraq! At least I still remember something relevant from my degree. Now if only I could use it...

I still stand by the fact that New York City is awesome. My roommate and I went out last night, and we definitely went out hardcore. First, we went to this Italian restaurant in the Village where we split a bottle of wine. This should be your first clue of the tone of the evening. The last time I split bottles of wine with someone the night got a little crazy. After that we went to a bar called the Red Lion. It was really cool. There were bands there playing mostly rock and roll stuff. It was cool. I had Yuengling which is really good by the way. I recommend it to everybody. Then I did I dont know how many shots of Jager (why brain why?). I'm just glad that I remembered to close my tab. After about midnight, the night gets fuzzy as my brain stopped performing normal functions. I can't remember calling people or talking to them. Yeah. It was still an awesome birthday. I like living here. You want to know the true sign of a champ though? The Ohio State game is on tonight and I'm going out and doing it again. That is true devotion to the beer gods, my friends.

I am continuing to morph into Miranda from Sex and the City. I dont mean to! It's just happening. I got my hair cut the other day and now I look even more like Miranda. I dress like her too. We all know I have the same personality. I refuse to become a lesbian though like Cynthia Nixon (sorry Action). I see the appeal of dating a woman though. It's a kind of drama that I understand, being female myself. I'd miss men too much. I'd miss their alpha male behavior and peculiar habits. A few other things too but I think that one is pretty obvious.