Christmas Hell 

Wheeeee!

I decided I want to buy one of those "Gettin Lucky in Kentucky" shirts. They look fun. Other than that, home has been pretty chill. I did some shopping yesterday for Christmas and of course, it was snowing like crazy and was FREEZING. I got to eat a Que Tal burrito (yay!), bought a few things in Coventry, went to Beachwood Place, and Best Buy. I just like to buy things I decided. Even if they're not for me, I like to spend money. Guess than means I need to make money first to buy things. Minor detail.

Since I am freezing my nuts off in this ridiculous weather Cleveland is having, I'm going to hide under the blanket again and hope that I can manage to stay warm while watching Seabiscuit. I have never seen this movie, but it's supposed to be good. I will decide after watching.

Why Are All Sports Teams In Cleveland Obsessed With That Lame Song?

Ok, quick update of the past few days because I am totally tired and want to go to bed. I had drinks and... (that's what we'll call it to be politically correct, but you all know what I'm talking about) with Sexy and Scruffy. Oh my God, it was amazing. Amazing. Now I'm stuck in Cleveland for a week without access. A week is a long time my friends. Why are we so good together? I feel like this is going to end badly somehow. We have a great time when we are together, but then I get so neurotic about the littlest things with him. Sigh. People don't help either when I talk about my neurotic tendencies and they confirm them (thanks, George, for making me paranoid again when I thought I was over that).

So after a great Wednesday evening, the rest of the week sort of floated by because I was on my post-date high still. I managed to get completely packed and haul my ass to the Arctic (also known as Cleveland). There was a crying baby on my flight which annoyed the piss out of me. I'm started to get a sinus infection/cold, so the pressure in my head was incredibly painful and a screaming infant was not good.

I made it though, in one piece. My brother is here with his girlfriend as well. She got us tickets to the Cleveland Cavs game tonight (they managed to lose in overtime I might add). I always thought it was really annoying how at the Browns games they played that stupid song "Who Let The Dogs Out." Well, they played it at the Cavs game tonight. Why, Cleveland, why? And why is the mascot a dog named Moondog? There was this point where the dog jumped on a trampoline and did a slam dunk and all I could think about was that scene from Old School where Frank the Tank catches fire after trying to jump through the burning hoop as the mascot. Haha.

I also discovered that after seeing Lebron James for real and not just on tv, I have to admit he is good. The kid has talent. Do I still despise him? Yup. Oh yeah, I got a beer at the game because I really really needed one. Now my mother has taken to calling me Miss Alcohol. So I like to drink. At least I don't have to start drinking when I wake up in the morning to get through the day. I just like drinking, as do most of my friends.

Why, Mother Nature?

I just checked the weather forecast for Cleveland: a high of 12 on Sunday and a low of 7. Come on! That's ridiculous for it to be that cold. I'll probably end up losing a couple of toes due to extreme temperatures!! Stupid cold weather.

Fun Trivia

Ok, so I am bored and this looked fun.

Three Names You Go By: Erin, Red, Miranda
Three Screennames You Have: ChicErin, stuartlarkn69 (haha)
Three Things You Like About Yourself: my cynicism, my straight up bitchiness, my red hair
Three Things You Dislike About Yourself: I procrastinate, my temper, and my fat calves (don't ask, it's weird I know)
Three Parts of Your Heritage: German, French, Scottish
Three Things That Scare You: Bees, Homeless people on crack (ok, they're just really annoying on the subway when they start talking to you), Sadomasichism
Three of Your Everyday Essentials: my cd player, caffeine, a watch
Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now: a red sweatshirt, a Michigan state t-shirt, and black Adidas pants
Three of Your Favorite Bands/Artists (at the moment): Matthew Good, MC Solaar, Ryan Cabrera
Three of Your Favorite Songs at Present: Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson (don't say ANYTHING), From The Inside (Junior Vasquez Mix) by Gioia, and Bitter by 12 Stones
Three New Things You Want to Try in the Next 12 Months: get a real job, Pilates, bartending
Three Things You Want in a Relationship (love is a given): honesty, great sex, humor
Two Truths and Lie: I ate way too much junk food today, I hate when people walk too slow in front of me and I can't get around them, and I'm a Republican (I hope you can pick out the OBVIOUS lie)
Three Physical Things About the Opposite Sex (or same) That Appeal to You: tall dark and handsome (that only counts as one), scruffy facial hair, nice back
Three Things You Just Can't Do: stop drinking caffeine, get an actual job, eat spicy food
Three of Your Favorite Hobbies: reading, cooking, watching movies
Three Things You Want to do Really Badly Right Now: get a tan, kiss a boy, go dancing
Three Careers You're Considering: dog walker, publicist, marketing analyst
Three Places You Want to Go on Vacation: St. Lucia, Australia, London
Three Kids' Names: Girls - Emily, Evelyn, Rachel; Boys - Sean, Matthew, Brady
Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die: get married and have children (yes, even I want to get married some day), do volunteer work in Africa, ride in a hot air balloon
Three People You Want to Take this Quiz: Cindy, Kate, uhh, anyone else who wants to I guess

Because I Can

I just want to defend my current musical choice for all you musical haters out there. Kelly Clarkson's new almost is surprisingly angst ridden, in that pop kind of way, but still. I always have thought she could actually sing (unlike some of her pop diva counterparts - Britney, cough, cough), so there.

Plus, it's my ears and I can do whatever I want. Yeah.

Why Don't My Pants Fit Anymore? Wait, I Know

After sinking into a slightly depressed state of mind, I have managed to gain weight, and some of my pants do not fit anymore. Those jeans that were on the tight side to begin with are now impossible to wear. Oops. See, when some girls get depressed, they don't eat. I, on the other hand, am the total opposite. I will consume any food within a five foot radius. I also tend to sleep a lot (more than I should be anyway). I'll end up sleeping for 10 to 12 houurs a night. When I actually pick up work, I'll only sleep about 7 or 8 hours a night, which is fine, because I actually don't need more than that, but when you have nothing else to do, sleeping is a lot more fun. It's either that or send out 20 more resumes that I know I won't get a response to.

I went to the store tonight and managed to buy the ultimate gratification food. Chips, Coke (the kind with sugar and caffeine), brownies, and Ben and Jerry's Butter Pecan ice cream. Yeah well, bite me. Things haven't been going well and that is my coping mechanism, as I mentioned before: getting fat. Of course, this is really a suicidal path. I have a date on Wednesday, and while I should be thinking about how I don't want my tummy to hang out over my low rise jeans, the intoxicating smell of brownie is so much better. I will probably wake up Wednesday morning with a giant pimple too, as luck will have it. My life is great right now.

I started writing out Christmas cards today. Oh joy. This is my way of trying to get into the holiday spirit. Problem is, the weather has had me all trippy. It hasn't snowed here because it's still too warm. It's been as warm as 55. Finally this week, the weather will be in the 30's, which has made me feel more Christmas-y. I don't know what I would do if I were in Florida and it was really warm. Funny how humans adapt so easily. When I lived in Florida, the cold would freak me out, but now the warm weather weirds me out. Don't get me wrong, I love warm weather, I'm just not used to it in say, December or January. I own way too many sweaters now.

Person I Most Wish I Was Engaged To Right Now (So I watched Pirates of the Caribbean for the millionth time.) 

No Shirt, No Shoes, BIG Problem

I know it has been awhile since I have updated, but I really haven't had much of anything to say. Since nobody reads my blog anyway, I figured it didn't matter than much. I got lectured about not having a job by my parents tonight. Their response was, "Well, you need to find something soon." Of course my response was a little on the shrill and defensive side. I sort of shot back with, "You think I don't know this? You think I don't try? You can't fight market forces! Thanks to my ridiculously expensive degree, I can tell you why I can't find a job and explain those market forces to you in painstaking detail, but that ain't gonna do shit for me to actually get a job. I network, I call, I email. It doesn't do much good right now except keep the connection alive." Companies just aren't hiring and let's face it, I don't have the most impressive resume. So I really have to defend that one when I am actually in interviews. Which has been a while, too. It just gets annoying when I want to buy something, and I realize I can't. I want this shirt from Express, and I just can't do it right now. Or the wool coat that I have fallen in love with. It's beautiful and I can't have it. I need a job!!!!! Ahhhh!!!

On a brighter note, I am leaving in exactly one week to head to Cleveland to hang out with the fam. I get to see my puppy dog which makes me really happy. I miss him. Everytime I see a Labrador in New York (which isn't too often) I get sad and think of my neurotic, fat dog. But I love him anyway. I also bought a plane ticket to go to Chicago for New Year's. With money I don't have, might I point out. So technically I didn't buy it, my dad bought the ticket for me because I begged. I'm so pathetic. Unemployed people really are pathetic wastes of space. As Kate Hudson states in Raising Helen, "Reruns are the culture of the unemployed." It really is true. Sometimes I just can't bring myself off the couch to actually send out resumes.

The Whining Stops Here

I don't like to complain a lot, but sometimes I can't help it. This is by no means a "one man pity party" or anything, and even if I was having one, I wouldn't outright tell people about it, because then they would think I was sad.

Ever just have one of those weeks where you're just not happy and you really can't explain why? I think maybe part of this is coming from trying to make New Year's plans. Honestly, I think it's the dumbest holiday ever, and has no point. Anyway, the reality hit me that I have like two friends in this city, and they will not be here to celebrate with, so my options are to either: sit on my couch alone and go to bed early, or go to Chicago to see friends. See, the one option is looking good because after buying Christmas presents, I have no money, and it takes money to fly to Chicago. I don't have a job either and I know people think that I can just shit money, but really I can't. And honestly, has anyone come to see me? No. I've made the trip three times to see friends in different places. I just can't keep doing it. It's not a "I'm going to protest" thing or anything like that, I'm just tired of spending money on plane tickets when I don't even have it. Sure, Mastercard is happy with me, but my checkbook isn't.

I'm just tired I think. And frustrated with a certain someone here in New York. And the job market. And the holidays. Does anyone else think of the holidays as a fucking joke? I really can't stand them.

Today's Lesson

Ok, kids, listen up for today's lesson! Today's lesson is: If you ignore a man long just long enough, it drives him insane. I put this lesson into practice last night and it worked. Sexy and Scruffy didn't call when I wanted him to, but then he did call FINALLY. I didn't answer my phone (or the two times after that). He was calling every hour on the hour after that. When I did finally talk to him, I told him I was busy until Tuesday (which is true), but he got all mad because he said he wanted to see me. I responded, "Well maybe Tuesday or Wednesday night?" I love this new found power over him.

Freaky-deaky

I think that women who experience PMS will understand this entry. Why is that as women we are forced to experience whacked out hormonal fits of emotional outburst? It is not fair I tell you! It takes one little thing to set me off and put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night. For instance, I am a huge fan of calling people when you tell them you will. Even if you can't talk, you still call when you said you would, say you're busy, and call back later when you can. There is nothing worse than making me wait around for your phone call, when I have other things to do. Now, add PMS into that mix and you better hope that you call me when the emotional rage has subsided. This isn't because I am bitching about a certain somebody who needs to learn how to return a fucking phone call on time....no, I'm not upset....

On another fantastic note, I am living like an Eskimo, because the radiator in my room is leaking AGAIN. My landlord is on his way over to tighten it AGAIN. In the meantime, I had to turn it off, so I have no heat in my room. Great. I've been sitting around the apartment today too cold to do anything. I though about putting on a winter hat and gloves to keep warm, but that might be a tad dramatic. But then again, with PMS, nothing is dramatic at this point (I say this with the most bitter sarcasm I can muster). Good thing I'm not pregnant, cuz that might be too scary for even me.

Erin From The Block

I remember seeing Jennifer Lopez in an interview once after her album On the 6 came out. She said that she wrote all of the songs on her commute on (where else?) the 6 train. She said it sort of inspired her. Well, using this logic, and my experiences on the 6 train, her album would be total CRAP. Which is true, her songs really are terrible. And this just proves that there really is no inspiration on that subway line whatsoever: I was on my way back from meeting a friend for happy hour, so I was already sort of buzzed (six beers will do that to you). There's this crazy sicko sitting across from me. I can already tell he's weird because he's sitting there with an open bottle of Heineken and annoying the girl sitting next to him, in general, just being obnoxious. Well she gets off, so that leaves me for him to focus his attention on. He starts trying to get my attention and I blatantly ignore him, getting my cd player out and putting my headphones on. Then I here him say, "Man, stick a dick in your mouth, that's all your good for anyway." At this point, part of me wants to jump up, scream at him, and punch him in the nose. What an asshole, I mean really. You should never say that to anyone. Thankfully, I didn't do that, because my smarter side knew that would be stupid. The guy was a nutcase anyway, so it wouldnt do much good to punch him, cuz he wouldn't get it anyway. The best part was the car was full, and people heard him say this and just looked at me for my reaction. Like I would dignify that with a response. I just got off at the next stop, switched cars, and then got off again at my appropriate stop.

I dyed my hair today. I think one day it might rebel against me and all fall out in protest, since I do dye it on a regular basis. Let's hope that it doesn't.

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

I have a small confession. I have an alter ego. She only comes out at times of ridiculous intoxication. She has only appeared once here in New York, and that was Halloween. I have a feeling that she might be back this weekend. Her name is Juliette. She is French and most of the time speaks a version of Franglais. She loves red wine, loves to dance like a rock star, and is very stubborn. If someone tells her she can't do something, she will do it anyway. This has been known to get her into a few difficult situations. Like most French women, she is very aware of her feminine power and she is not past using it to get what she wants from men. Let's just call this uber-confidence.