I Don't Know My Own Strength

This morning, in an effort to wake myself up before my interview, I fueled my body with a large cup of coffee. Any normal person would find that this is plenty of caffeinated liquid, but I am not normal anymore I decided. I could barely keep my eyes open, so I thought maybe if I slapped my face, it might actually work. Once again, any normal person will know that this won't work, and won't slap themselves in the face, but I did. I tried it once on each cheek. Nothing really. Just that heavy eyelid feeling that is corrected through hours of blissful sleep. So I tried harder. Yes, harder. See normal people don't try this. I slapped myself again with more vigor, although this time, it stung. It stung to the point that I blurt out an "Ow!" afterwards. And when I pulled a mirror out of my purse, I had left a red blotch on my cheek. Wow. I suck.