Round Two

is Thursday morning. Must exude "I am the shit" attitude. Because I am. And I need this job. Thinking of taking the entire day off Thursday. Why not? It's not like I have anything that I need to do. Nap. That is something to do.

On another note, I enjoy having a booty call that lives an approximate ten minute walk from me. Talk about your easy access. So nice not to have to go forty-five minutes into the city at 11 o'clock at night for one thing. Thinking about calling on my way home to see if he is available tonight. That's right, I finally remembered to leave my phone on, so when he called, I got his number to call him back. Apparently it's hard for boys to leave their phone numbers so you can actually call them back.

Okay, so if you are related to me and do not want to get grossed out by a little too much detail into my love life, STOP READING NOW. I'm just giving you the opportunity to save yourself from wanting to rip your eyeballs out. It's not really that bad, but sort of has that Oedipus vibe going on. Whatever.

So okay, I did some reflecting about Buttface last night. Had our relations continued, I think he would have been very toxic for me. It was probably a good thing that he turned out to be an asshole sooner rather than later (I feel like I should start singing Britney Spears right now). Yes I realize all my friends are laughing at me right now and saying "Duh!" as loudly as possible. But you weren't there. Amazing how easy it is for us to fall victim to the facade of decency when all that lies underneath is narcissim and lies. But I think the signs were there, I just didn't want to see them because I only paid attention to the things I wanted to believe. The last time that I saw him (this was before the little slip up back in February, that one doesn't count), he didn't even kiss me. I didn't realize how much of a whore (been using that word quite a bit lately) that made me feel until recently. Such a simple thing to do, but such a loss when it's not there. Also, there were the times when he was all too willing to bring another girl, or guy, into the sexual picture. He claimed it was for my benefit and that I would enjoy it, but I know better than that. He just wanted to be entertained, with little regard for me. I don't understand his point of view, but I know I don't do threesomes with my friends and I definitely don't enjoy watching them have sex (not that I have ever actually tried this, but something tells me I wouldn't like it). The first couple of times he said it, I thought he was joking, but I then realized that maybe he wasn't. I also found it odd that most of his female friends had slept with him at one point or another. Other people claim it's easy to have a sexual relationship with a friend and then end the sexual part easily. I have never been this way, so I went on their judgements.

I just want a nice man who doesn't want to share me with others. Why does this seem like a difficult thing to find?