Young, Fabulous, and Beyond Broke

Duh, that's totally me. I checked my bank balance this morning before heading to work, and realized I don't even have enough money to purchase a monthly subway pass. I don't have any money period, save the money in my wallet. I'm actually at about -$30. I had to dig and find $6 to at least make it riding the subway through tomorrow morning when hopefully my check that I deposited yesterday will be in my account. Doh!

So, I have placed a temporary hold on my checking account. This means no boozing for at least two weeks to replenish my funds. This seems to be where the majority of my spare change is going, and not to my bills like it should be. The upside: maybe I will become a cheap drunk and those jeans that have become a little too tight will indeed fit again. Wishful thinking I suppose. It's like those days in college when I would say, "I am never drinking again!". A week later, back at it.

Please, employment gods, grant me an interview in which I can impress people with my fabulous skills and be granted a salaried job in which I get paid vacation days and sick days. Please. It's really no fun being a drunk and unemployed (which I sort of am because I am only temporary staffing). Before I started doing this, I would lie on the couch for eight hours straight watching as much trash television as possible, maybe hit the bottle at 4 PM if the desire so struck me. What else do you do when you're unemployed? Actually look for a job? Who does that? I was lucky if I actually showered two days in a row. Yes, gross, I know, but don't make me go back to that, employment gods. I beg of you.